Day 539: Disaster after quitting masturbation
On oct 4 Friday, my family went on a trip to taiwan. That day was a day of social unrest. The law of refraining mask was deployed. ( 蒙面法😷）
That same day I was defeated by the doorbell of 141. I remember I was thinking about it the whole Friday afternoon, I was on the website 141. I have eliminated masturbation but then I got into the much worse doorbell situation.
I felt disappointed, self-doubt, self defeating thoughts came to my mind.
Yes, the doorbell is not a good message I sent to myself. The message is ugly, it is guilt, it is no self-restraint.
The question is what I decide to do about it? or I let me haunt myself for who I m? Can I be a good person anymore? Am I not good enough? These are the thoughts I have inside my mind.
mean the doorbell absolutely feels good but just for that moment. I was left with guilt for a long time just for the 5 min of pleasure. Is it worth it ?
What I decided to do?
I decided that I seek a long term solution that is to love my wife and develop a long term & strong relationship that I could rely on.
The lessons I learned is that I can use defeat and failure to fill myself and to haunt myself with negativity. OR to channel “the situation” towards positivity, think about a solution, think about the improvement I can make, so I can only become stronger after.
I have decided to go for long term solution, develop a good relationship, I no longer have to punish myself with the inner talk. The next thing is just to take action.
It is a great lesson learned.
I realized that life is fascinating. When you think you become a better you, something bad can happen.
When I thought I quit Masturbation, I attached to something much worse...
So what would you choose? To comeback even stronger & to make a even stronger decision?
I got rid of masturbation. BUT...it brings me to a even worse and evil situation - the doorbell.
My question is m I better off going back to masturbation? Or I take it as a great challenge to improve myself even better?
I experienced the pleasure, it is tempting to go back again & again. I already have so much fun only with my imagination.
For me to become a greater self, I need to take it on positively and not beating up on myself. Seeing things as a challenge rather than a defeat can help you to contribute more to the society and building a better version of you.
Think yourself to win. If you act like everybody. You become like anybody.
A project about being a property entrepreneur and motivation speaker. How I work from a job transforming into a business. I went through 3 business failures, broken relationship and on Apr 24, 2019. I invested my first property with 100% mortgage