Day 539: the aftermath of quitting masturbation

Day 539: Disaster after quitting masturbation

On oct 4 Friday, my family went on a trip to taiwan. That day was a day of social unrest. The law of refraining mask was deployed. ( 蒙面法😷）
That same day I was defeated by the doorbell of 141. I remember I was thinking about it the whole Friday afternoon, I was on the website 141. I have eliminated masturbation but then I got into the much worse doorbell situation.
I felt disappointed, self-doubt, self defeating thoughts came to my mind.

Yes, the doorbell is not a good message I sent to myself. The message is ugly, it is guilt, it is no self-restraint.

​The question is what I decide to do about it? or I let me haunt myself for who I m? Can I be a good person anymore? Am I not good enough? These are the thoughts I have inside my mind.

 mean the doorbell absolutely feels good but just for that moment. I was left with guilt for a long time just for the 5 min of pleasure. Is it worth it ? 

What I decided to do?
I decided that I seek a long term solution that is to love my wife and develop a long term & strong relationship that I could rely on. 

The lessons I learned is that I can use defeat and failure to fill myself and to haunt myself with negativity. OR to channel “the situation” towards positivity, think about a solution, think about the improvement I can make, so I can only become stronger after. 

I have decided to go for long term solution, develop a good relationship, I no longer have to punish myself with the inner talk. The next thing is just to take action. 

It is a great lesson learned. 
I realized that life is fascinating. When you think you become a better you, something bad can happen.
When I thought I quit Masturbation, I attached to something much worse...
​So what would you choose? To comeback even stronger & to make a even stronger decision? 

I got rid of masturbation. BUT...it brings me to a even worse and evil situation - the doorbell.

​My question is m I better off going back to masturbation? Or I take it as a great challenge to improve myself even better?

​I experienced the pleasure, it is tempting to go back again & again. I already have so much fun only with my imagination. 
For me to become a greater self, I need to take it on positively and not beating up on myself. Seeing things as a challenge rather than a defeat can help you to contribute more to the society and building a better version of you.

Think yourself to win. If you act like everybody. You become like anybody.

​Herbert Yau, property entrepreneur and a motivation speaker 
Go here to find out more about my motivation http://www.daddayout.com
Face: https://www.facebook.com/yauherbert
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/herbert_yau_day_out/