Day 783: Listen Quietly...so you know who you really are (May 30, 2020)

For 30 years, I was thinking it is ok to accept something that isn’t your most desired. Why? Why do I have to accept anything less? Do you accept anything less than what you most desired in life?

I don’t want to accept it. I want to ask for the best in me. I want to excel! I want to work for it! Do you?

I was challenged by my coach 3 weeks ago about me waking up 5 am in the morning?
She said: without a purpose you can’t continue this effort for a long time.
She asked: “What’s your purpose?” Then I ask: Is my “purpose” fuelled by fear or passion? What do you feel passionate about? I have passion to help kids, I wanna cry when I helped them because they remind me of my past... I was a younger brother and I have a wrong belief since I was a kid that I should have a smaller share or something less than my brother. This thought grew bigger over the years and has made me accept less than what I truly desired. I would accept smaller portion of food, a smaller birthday gift and later on in my life, I accepted something less than I desired, I accept myself not performing my best...and told myself it’s okay.
That brought big consequences because not only I accept less from others, I accept less of myself and don’t demand so much of myself anymore. I convinced myself to accept mediocrity. That hurts...do you think something is wrong with this belief?

Deep in my heart I regretted that belief and I keep coming back, get up and fight again after several attempts as an entrepreneur, I still not sure what is going on inside of me. I have a fighter spirit but I didn’t realise deep inside, I wanted to ask for the best of me, that’s the real me. And I like to ask you, what is in the real you?

It was until my coach, she asked me about my purpose, deep inside I want more in life, I want my life to be bigger, much bigger. I want to put up a fight. I believe that I am whatever I want to be. I want to show any adults or kids, everyone has the right to ask for the best, never settle for mediocrity. I want to show everyone, they have the right, to demand for their best no matter who they are.
Go out and fight for whatever you want in life, demand more of yourself....