How I rebuild my broken marriage...

There is a story behind this TGEC carnival between my wife and I.
and I need to share my story 3 years ago when my wife mentally breakdown when I landed a new job. She was completely heart-broken.....It was a good life-learning.

And from the breakdown of my wife, I have discovered a principle about LIFE and really want to share with you NOW. ​

​she broke down because I was too much about myself. She supported me for running my first business jamsport. I can make me a living, however, because my mindset wasn't mature back then. I failed to fully develop myself and my business. So I decided to go back to a job to support my family. The basket training business is slowly falling apart because I don't have interpersonal skills to handle in all areas as I was completely self-absorbed during that time. It is all about me, me and me. The funny part is I m the only one who does not know about this, and I thought I was a genuinely kind and unselfish person?.

And from the breakdown of my wife, I have discovered a principle about LIFE and really want to share with you NOW. If your LIFE focuses is on getting more (money, love, salary, whatever), you are destined to fail because you are likely to be in a "GO GET IT" mode.

You would ask question like: How to get it? Who shall I ask to get it?..... that's what people do but the world don't like these people. They are being called selfish, greedy, self-centered.

I learn it with a hard lesson as my relationship and marriage faltered. My wife broke down as she was totally disappointed at the ugly human nature of selfishness. I woke up (metaphorically) and started to discover ways to save this broken relationship.

​In the book "Science of Getting Rich" - the impression of increase. OR
Anonymous - "The more you give, the more you receive"

​The meaning of " the impression of increase"

If you want to get more, you must take it from the hands who already have. Instinctively, You ask them, and only at that moment you start to care about them ( when you need them).

Then, you go and find out their needs, but this is too late. All you do is out of serving yourself and not for their well being. It is noticeable especially to the ones you needed help from.

To position yourself to get what you want, you should consistently ask yourself what can I do for others? You must always be ready to give and notice what people need, so people have preference in you and give you what you ask for.

If people can feel that you are a person of providing value-add ( or impression of increase). They will be naturally attracted to you.

Ask Yourself: Who would be attracted to someone who just take things away from them?

I was the type of person who only asked in the past, so no one really liked me, and it costs a great harm to my wife as well. If you are in a similar trouble like I was. I suggest you to read:

I read it like over 15 times to make sure I internalize the key life principles so I act in a way that I m no longer selfish, while seeing all the benefits behind. It is a great book. I saved a PDF version on my phone because I am convinced about the principles or you may buy a physical book if you like. 
​​A physical book can write some notes on the side of the pages.

The Science of Getting Rich

​As i m trying to mend this relationship because I was in serious fault. On Feb 14 Valentine's Day, I asked myself what can I do for her, without the need of spending too much money & she can feel my heart.

I looked around the house and saw our family photos, I haven't seriously sketched for 20 years and I liked to make a handmade Valentine's Day Card for her.

I thought it might be good to remind her of our happiness and that was the AIA carnival Hong Kong 2017 ( The Great European Carnival). We took the picture in 2017. I picked this picture which she has printed, so I can be sure that she liked it. When you seen it more than, the mind will make positive association.

I don't know how my wife felt because she never told me. We are still in the process of mending our relationships. But I can feel that the wall between us is much lower now. So the story I want to tell is I gain from not asking, but from giving.

​Related Post:

How can I become more aware about myself?...I don't know what I don't know
How do I know if it is my problem or her problem?