How can I erase my wife's painful memory?

​Only good memory can erase bad memory and I spent three years to wash away my wife's pain bit by bit. and in exchange, I have gained some good memories myself!

3 years ago when I was trying to develop my own business, I destroyed the relationship with my wife.
During that time I didn't have the capacity and the mentality to make my business a success. After I failed (failure is only temporary in my own understanding, as long as I try, failure is not permanent) , I was completely selfish about money. I made paying back the debt as an excuse, and I told her I can only afford $15,000 for home expenses. I found the job of $50,000, and this has broken her heart for almost 3 years afterwards.

The reason being, she was always trying to support me, but I wasn't gracious and I thought it was the way it should be. When I'm back into the workforce, I only thought about myself and never really care about the financial needs to raise our family. She was completely heart-broken.

Spending three years is worth it - replacing happy memory into her mental hard disk

she broke down and all her behaviour was in complete opposite of how she used to be. This was a wake up call because I have made her behaved selfishly.

three years of continuous giving seems to yield no improvement, but to erase a persons painful memory, how could it be done in a very short time? It seems endless but I feel her pain so I ducked down my head in and keep on doing. I pray to God, and I get support from my brothers, that make me staying on the positive!

I remember it was my birthday February 11 2018, and incident happened. Because I going to work on Feb 14, The Valentine's Day, so I decided to do something different, why don't I treat her to dinner during my birthday? Why does it have to be someone treat me for a dinner on my birthday? And I invited my mother-in-law, too.
​Let's make it a little different.

​Then I discover changes inside me slowly. I feel that asking people to treat you to dinner on her birthday it's a bit too calculating. It's like saying when it's your birthday I pay for your dinner and now it's your turn to pay back. Why not use it as a chance to make everyone happy doing your birthday?

and on that day during Valentine's Day I invited her to a movie premiere.

We then had a Valentine's Day dinner, as I don't want to spend too much money. And God intervene, HE wants me to show her what my love is meant to be, and to try to draw her drawing. And not to overspend over some gifts.

my wife didn't express to me whether she like it or not. In my heart I've put a lot of time and effort into the drawing. And when someone pays an effort for another, the other one should know.

The next morning after Valentine's Day, we woke up early and we "hehehaha" that was exciting, I bet you know how to break the code.

文章：小朋友是否喜歡你
http://www.daddayout.com/home/good-father6282825

​The sun shines on those who give with happiness

I realise that things have changed because I was proactively involved in removing our painful memories, and replace it bit by bit with good ones, to heal her scar.
to give with happiness and empathy and from action to change those painful experiences. I was in doubt and always wanted to give it up and my inner self always ask me to change back to the old comfortable self.
and of course seeing other happy makes us happy, that's in everyone's nature. and if you are discovered the naked truth of happiness, the happiness of others is the true happiness your been looking for many years.

​如何洗掉夫妻間的痛苦回憶?

只有好回憶能令破碎回憶忘掉，我用了三年的時間一點一滴把太太痛苦回憶洗掉也換來自己一些很美好的回憶。

我在三四年前因為創業的關係，破碎了我夫妻的關係。
當時我的心理及能力均未能令生意成功。失敗後（失敗是暫時性而已），當時我懷着自私的心情及用還款作藉口，跟太太說我只能給你＄15,000家用，因為我需要還款，當時我應該是有五萬元，這記憶令他傷痛了三年的日子。因為她一直在後面支持我，但我沒有感恩還以為是應該的。到了回去工作的時候人工也先給自己，沒有照顧家庭需要。

用3年付出是值得的 - 把快樂回憶換進她記憶體
她崩潰了，所有的行為一反常態，令我也醒覺，因為我令她做出一些自私的行為。
三年的付出外表好像一點改善也沒有，但要洗掉一個人的痛苦回憶，豈能是短短時間可以做到呢？我看似見不到盡頭，但我體會她的傷痛，只能默默地做着。向神禱告，還有得到朋友們的支持，令我有着正面能量！
我記得是在2018年，生日2月11號 - 事情開始改變。因為我要在14號情人節上班，我把生日11號傳統反過來請她食生日飯慶祝，還邀請了外母。
然後，我發現事情開始改變。因為我覺得生日奉旨要情人請食飯，這是計較！好像是說你生日我請你食飯，我生日應該輪到你請我吧！為何不可在任何機會下討家人?開心呢？

在情人節我工作那天，我邀請她到我工作地方看首映禮。
​
​​當天我們沒有吃情人飯，因為我不想用太多金錢在外吃飯。
神介入，要我花一點點心思，畫一幅畫給她。因為我也不想亂花金錢去買一份禮物討她開心。
太太也沒有跟我表示我的畫她是否喜歡。但在我心裏面，我是花了很多心機去畫，我知道如果你真願意去付出，為一個人付出，他們是一定知道的。

在情人節之後的那一天我們起身的時候還發生了嘻嘻哈哈呢。很興奮。

在年三十的晚上，她提議在家吃飯，還自願洗碗。在我的記憶裏應該三年來他沒有洗碗了。因為洗碗是她的痛苦回憶之一，我看洗碗給她的痛苦記憶已經慢慢忘掉了。

在年初一她還很高興地跟我說笑。如果你有留意到我之前的文章 - 關於小朋友是否喜歡你。我提到身體上的接觸，正代表小朋友是否喜歡你。
我跟他其實很久已經沒有身體的接觸，拖手搭膊頭也甚少發生。
昨晚她騎到我的身上用pat pat 壓在我身上玩耍是三年來前所未有發生的事。我想我的神終於聽到我的禱告並向我伸出醫治的手叫他的能力得以顯明。我感謝神。​

文章：小朋友是否喜歡你
http://www.daddayout.com/home/good-father6282825

​以喜樂付出必有曙光
我覺得事情的改變是由於我主動把痛苦的回憶，以開心的回憶一點一點的擦去她的傷痕。
以喜樂及同理心去付出，並以行動改變痛苦回憶。當中我亦有懷疑及灰心，也想變回自私的老我。
當然，以別人的開心為開心的時候，自己不計較付出，看到其他人的笑面，也會是一個開心的回憶。最後，最開心的還不是屬於自己嗎？

而我們自己痛苦的回憶，也可以藉着自己製造開心的回憶一點一點的擦去。

當你的開心引擎在轉動時，開心力量就會影響其他人，他們的開心引擎也會影響你快樂無窮。

快樂回憶由自己開始！